Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Back To My Whole Explosion Over Hamburgers Not Tasting Right

I told you all that I thought I was eating this:
or this:


but not this, this is plastic:
and that when I bit into my nice tasty "burger", I found my taste buds saying it was something more like this:
well I have now realized that there is no glaze of death stuck to my fingers because I've spent a good amount of time in discussion/thought about what Fr. Phil was handing me to put into my mouth. I found it to be more sloppy joe than burger. But, really, a sloppy joe is still made from burger and bread not like that Krispy Kreme burger this of death. So, yea, I freaked out and called this:
this:
I told you all that this:
was this:
a spawn of the KKK (and yes, the KKK and Krispy Kreme and related just read some poetry and you will see what I mean)

so anyway, I am here , avoiding the sleep I've sought for hours and hours to tell you why Catholic Theology is a Sloppy Joe not a Hamburger and defiantly not a KKK burger.
A Hamburger is all compartmentalized right? You got the patty, the bun, the other crap we do or do not use so that the Father, the Son, the Holy Sprit and Mary can all be moved about in some sort of "this is how it all works" kind of way. Do you see that? If Mary can be the lettuce of this concoction for a moment than I'd like to point out that protestants would or would not add her to the hamburger goodness of faith. In fact, all Protestants need, to be who they are, is two slices of bread and a patty. Boom! There, they have themselves a burger. Father (top bun), Son (patty) and Sprit (bottom bun) put together to please, just pull up to the second window and hand the nice worker-person-thing-bot a dollar plus tax. See, my point is that, in the protestant tradition figures such as Paul, Peter, John (the beloved) and Mary may or may not play a roll, just like tomato and mustard, catsup and lettuce may or may not play a roll in a burger while everyone is needed for Catholics.

And that is why Catholics like their Sloppy Joes. They understand that the Father can't work without the Mother and the Mother has no work without the Father. They see that the Son is meaningless if he can't leave the Holy Spirit and that the Holy Spirit would not be receivable by many if it was not for the Son. Plus, they understand that without the Son's willingness to die and raise from the dead and all the other stuff her does, the Father's work throughout all of history is meaningless and... really it goes on forever and though I am now starting to get a grip on the idea I will admit, with a sloppy joe in hand, that I still don't have a clue what is really going on. I mean, I understand how to make the Sloppy Joe, add mix to meat and heat it up, but I am only starting to learn the depths a can of sloppy joe mix adds to that meat while simmering over the heat. But I am still of the camp that I have things to learn from Catholics (and others) so I am going to get some rest, let you all look at my lovely pictures, and talk to you next time I find myself so confused by a different world view that I feel the need to simplify 1000's of years of thought into a quarter pound of death between bread...

Isn't there something to do with bread and life in the bible? Hmm... maybe a Hamburger is a Ying-Yang? But that would really confuse things wouldn't it... later.

-Chase

3 comments:

Son-Ju said...

You lost me with the pictures.

WickedWitty said...

I think I preferred the Monk's description of Catholics being onions and Protestants being bananas.

M. Chase Whittemore said...

why do we always try to use food to explain things...